During my money journey I noticed that most of the advice I was getting went something along the lines of “Just follow these simple steps to build wealth,” but nothing about life is simple. There are good days and bad days, wins and losses, and sometimes life just flat out sucks.
There’s inequality, some people are born rich, some are born poor. Some people are saddled with really crappy family members from birth. The point I’m making here is that life is not a level playing field, so a one size fits all step by step financial plan probably won’t work for everyone. A lot of the advice I sought didn’t really take into account the mental damage some people have endured throughout their lives. A lot of the debt I incurred was because I was trying to cope with my miserable unsuccessful existence. Getting me to save and invest wouldn’t fix my self hate. As I began to achieve the things I set out to do, I didn’t feel the need to buy as much stuff. People aren’t really after money, they are after what they think money will bring them.
Our money journey begins with our parents. What they teach us through their actions and words will determine how we interact with money for the rest of our lives. Unless you take it upon yourself to rewrite the scripts your family gave you, you will continue down whatever path they put you on.
On my own journey I would listen to the advice of people like Dave Ramsey. Ok, it was really like 90% Dave Ramsey, but let’s keep going. As I went through the baby steps and listened to Dave on youtube I started to resent my family. I love my Mom so before anyone is like “This guys is out here talking trash about the woman who raised him,” keep reading. The things my family members told me kept ringing in my head as I attempted to fix my financial life. As I rejected their ideas, I started to reject them. I became an asshole to everyone.
I wasn’t warned this was going to happen during the journey. I became angry at society as well. I hated almost everyone I came into contact with. I felt like everyone in society was trying to lead me down a path of financial ruin. “Everyone has a car payment.” “It’s hard to save money.” “Why are you working / studying so hard.” Statements like these would damn near send me into a rage when I heard them, but not everyone was out to get me. I eventually began to realize that people love to follow scripts. They weren’t exactly being malicious, they were saying what you are supposed to say in situations like that. I lost some friends that would probably still be friends today if I didn’t become so evangelical about personal finance.
This post isn’t a Dave Ramsey bash fest. I love me some Ramsey Solutions. I listen to him and his personalities on a regular basis, but I’ve come to an understanding. Not everyone in your life has to believe or follow what you do. I find it funny how people say they understand this, but then you see who they hang around in real life and it’s a complete echo chamber. When it comes to achieving success, you have to hang around like minded people, but choosing your friends or loved ones based on how “successful” or “insert belief here” they are isn’t good for the soul. Does your best friend really need to be an Astronaut Rocket Scientist Brain Surgeon for you to watch your favorite television shows with them? Unless your favorite tv show is about performing brain surgery in space, I highly doubt it.
Your journey is your journey. You don’t need to take everyone with you to Valhalla.
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